Chatroulette is the best communication medium for creepsters since the internet’s inception. It allows them to engage people in awkward conversation or expose their genitals to unknowing strangers without even leaving their houses.
This was a really cool dude who asked "asl?"
Last night, Frankie and I passed the time during a study session by conversing with some of the people lurking online. He positioned my web camera facing the only girl in the room, and we signed on.
The first person we encountered was a fellow we nicknamed “Cool dude.” Cool dude was lounging on a couch, coasting through the sea of men for that small chance of seeing someone attractive enough to talk to. He stopped on our camera and Frankie started typing.
He didn’t seem interested in anyone not willing to take off their clothes. And anyone who asks “asl?” in chat deserves to be ignored.
After we skipped past a guy who looked exactly like Al Franken, we came across two guys in a row who were showing off their neat skills at smoking “the ganja,” including one fellow bro’ing on a couch with a friend and another lurking in the darkness of his room, alone with a lame orange pipe.
We nexted past those guys pretty quickly and stumbled across a dude who likened himself to Barry White. He offered to sing for us after Frankie mentioned it.
He sang a Barry White song, some Prince and wrapped it up with some Elton John. As you can see, he was quite a charmer:
This dude loved to sing.
He also loved leaning back awkwardly like this.
After we finished talking with Barry, we nexted through a few wack dudes until we reached Frankie’s new enemy. The guy was a Greek-Canadian who didn’t have his web cam microphone on because he was watching the Simpsons. This is how the convo went down:
In short, what I’m trying to say is stay off Chatroulette. Like in life, there are a thousand wack dudes for every Barry White impersonator. You’re really better off with Facebook chat, safe from all those penises.
